I think I’m depressed, I dunno, I took some online tests to get some sort of idea, and they both (I only took 2) said I was in the moderate to severe range of depression, on said I scored very high in Bipolar dissorder. Of course I know these are not proper diagnosis, but I don’t know what to think. I don’t know if I’m just sad, if I’m stressed and over worked from my job. I don’t know….
What I do know, I’ve started three or four books and gotten barely half way through them in the past six months, this coming from someone who used to devour books like their was no tomorrow.
I pretty much stopped drawing and sketching, I was never good, but there was a time I didn’t go a day without doing so and now…well I picked up my sketch book last night, only sorta started a sketch and put it down.
I lost a job in February and found a new one by mid March. I got a degree in business not because I wanted to be in business but because it was what was practical, this includes attending community college for said degree.
I don’t know what I want from life, there is a lot I want to do but I can’t find the motivation to make any of it happen and it just makes me sadder and makes me feel more trapped then ever in a life that is not my own.
I’ve always been a loner, and outcast, seperate and it hasn’t changed as I’ve gotten older, I’m still somehow on the fringes of the society I live. I’m a passive gamer, passive anime lover, passive sports fan.
I fear asking for help because I fear being judged, because I fear hurting the people I love by saying that I’m not entirely happy, but I know that if I keep pretending that I’ll hurt them in the end anyways, but I keep telling myself I’ll deal with it later.
I’m irrationally angry, I can feel years of bottled fury boiling underneath, then sometimes I feel like a great weight is on my shoulder and I just want to curl up and ignore the world. That’s not to say that I don’t feel happy, and more often then I think. I have an amazing boyfriend who just wants me to be okay and he can make a bad day good, he helps pull away the curtains to show me sunlight pretty damn often, but… I feel it’s not enough.
I don’t understand why I feel the way I do, so hopeless and lost, wandering through life in a haze. I want to make my life better, but I just don’t know how. Sometimes I can muster the strength to do something good for myself, but that doesn’t take long to get sapped out of me either.
I’m tired of being tired, i’m tired of feeling like my life is passing me by and I’m doing nothing to change it. I’m tired of feeling like I have to make someone else proud, I’m tired of feeling like I have to live up to societies expectations. I just want to lie here and do nothing.
I’m currently making inhuman noises.
thank you I will take one of these
And then Jack proceeds to sweet talk them both into a very hot and heavy threesome.
The moment when Sam legit questioned if he’d gotten out of hell.
"Thanks for saving the world" as if Dean did it. Which he didn’t. Because the last book that Chuck wrote was "Swan Song". In which Sam saved the world by sacrificing his body and soul and throwing himself into the Cage with two archangels.
"Sorry you have such bad luck with the ladies" as if somehow Sam’s "bad luck with the ladies" is his fault, instead of everyone around him y’know. Killing them.
#like please#charlie you don’t even#don’t even start with me#i will use your stomach to hold my water#and your spine to reach the books on the tallest shelf at the library#if you for one second believe that sam winchester did not sacrifice everything he had to save this world#and that includes you charlie#and kevin#and linda#and dean#and bobby#and garth#and even tracy bell#because they’re alive and not up to their delicate eyes in brimstone because of sam winchester#sam winchester beat the devil#nobody can change that#nobody can deal it away#nobody can undermine that#it’s the truth and it’s the whole truth and it’s exactly what happened#so don’t you dare say otherwise#i’ll grind your teeth to pixie dust and use it in the adaptation of peter pan#if you do (via dreamscape-inkscape)
Sam jumps, but he snaps out of it when he sees all the little details of his childhood, the one he despises yet loves because of Dean. He saw the army men, he’s heard the rattle of the lego and probably atleast once snuck a look for their initials carved into the Impala. Sam may have jumped, but he wouldn’t have had the strength if not for the heart of Dean Winchester.
And Charlie knows it’s not sam’s fault that he has bad luck with the ladies, she’s saying sorry because it’s like saying, I’m sorry about your mother burning in a fire. It’s out of everyone’s control what happens sometimes, she’s expressing sympathy for Sam’s unfortunate situation.
Guys wait, look, there are jean clad legs at the mouth of the slide and I see a brown head of hair….is…is that Jared at the top of the slide?
Collective movements for social justice do not gain traction through niceness. American women did not gain the right to vote by skipping down Pennsylvania Avenue while whistling cute songs about suffrage: they picketed, they marched, they yelled, they were arrested. Abusive partners and rapists will not be stopped by women having heart-to-hearts with their violators over coffee, because ghosts cannot talk and broken fingers cannot lift a latte. The patriarchy cannot be shattered by good vibes. In order to bring about change, old and oppressive structures must be destroyed. Destruction is not negative if what will grow from the rubble is something that will create a safer, healthier, stronger society.
Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer said she doesn’t identify as a feminist because feminism is “too negative.” Here’s what I have to say about that…
broken fingers cannot lift a latte is going to stick with me.
And here is what I have to say. Feminism may require destruction of the old, but let us be sure that the men who are hurt by the patriarchy have their voices heard to when the new world grows. Let us make sure that though we hammer down the old, we will use only the best precision instrument to construct the new. It must be carefully crafted so that there is true equality, that good men are not trampled in the dust with the bad, that there is a place for those who want to grow and be more.
This is my favorite thing
I HAVE BEEN WAITING AN ENTIRE YEAR TO REBLOG THIS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND I FUCKING LOVE THIS POST THIS POST IS MY LIFE HOLY HELL
Imagine though when you find your soul mate and the happens
this is one of the most beautiful gifs I’ve seen.
No but imagine the school jock and the nerd he beats up every day finally run into each other in the locker room or at a pool or something and their chest start glowing and they both look at each other and just go “Oh fuck no.”
It was always the same every day…
The guy would come to beat me up over a tiny, stupid whim.
I wish my day would change from that.
"Ready for another lesson??"
"Y-Your chest it—"
"That means we’re—-"
I ASKED FOR A CHANGE, BUT THIS IS NOT WAS I WAS LOOKING FOR.
LMFAO welp this is how I imagined it. ENJOY
I NEED MORE OF THIS
it got better
people whose entire first name is also in their last name have had a rough journey
i once knew a daniel daniels and i think his parents just had a sick sense of humor because his middle name was dan
My last name is Hannah, my dad wanted to name me Hannah my middle name is Anne, he has said at least once if he’d had his way my name would have been Hannah Anna Hannah, praise be my mother got her way.
I’m not big into Horror films and stuff (weird cause I love SPN), but my boyfriend does, so I agreed to let him ease me into the movies. Last night we watched Insideous and Insideous chapter 2. I had nightmares about ghose but half way through the dream I stopped and pretty much said to myself “Wait… what the fuck am I doing? I shouldn’t be running from ghosts and demons, I know how to handle this shit” Then I turned to everyone else involved in the night mare and said “We need salt and iron, right now” Then proceeded to stuff my pockets with all teh table salt I could while gripping an iron wrench or something. After that it disolved into meaningless shit.
So thank you SPN for giving me the tools to fight my nightmares!
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